Stop

Soooooooooooo

2006-02-16T22:15:15Z

I havent been on this lj in a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time lol

selbstmordpuppe @ 2004-11-29T18:35:00

2004-11-29T23:35:54Z

Ask me 3 questions, anything you want, and i will answer honestly. Post this and allow your friends to ask you 3 questions, that you must answer honestly

selbstmordpuppe @ 2004-11-16T21:17:00

2004-11-17T02:18:20Z

I need to talk to these people
Call me at 727-412-2942
Carolyn
Nicole
Jessi
Kendra
Sabrina

selbstmordpuppe @ 2004-11-10T16:39:00

2004-11-10T21:38:18Z

Who is going to C.O.F. and has a car or ride?

selbstmordpuppe @ 2004-11-02T15:15:00

2004-11-02T20:15:39Z

Bday in 19 days!
wooowhooo

selbstmordpuppe @ 2004-10-11T23:15:00

2004-10-12T03:15:00Z

Im sorry.
And Goodbye I will never bother you again.

selbstmordpuppe @ 2004-09-21T19:14:00

2004-09-21T23:19:10Z

I swear soon I will just be over him.
Moved on with a new hot boyfriend.
And me and Spencer will just be friends.
I will have an awesome and happy life.
He will too.
Ill be in an awesome band hopefully all chicks.
He will be in an awesome band.
Me and Him will talk 2-5 years from now back on all of this and drink beers and laugh about it.
But he's so cute.
And the sex is good.
And his kisses make me blush.
And his hugs are so warm.
And sleeping next to him is so wonderful.
And just blah im so stupid.

StrangeLand

2004-09-20T08:04:09Z

Notice how im always alone.
Im at Nicoles alone in her room while her and Casey are doing god knows what.
When im with Spencer I always feel like he wishes he was somewhere else or laying next to someone else.
At home im locked in my room alone yet my door is never locked.
I wish I could have my old boyfriend back that loved me always saw me every other day told me how beautiful I was made me feel good and special about myself.
Im never going to get him back therefore why do I try?
I should just let go leave it be never go there again.
He's moving to N.C. anyways so theres no point on trying anymore anyways huh?

At Nicole's everyone is just chilling

2004-09-20T07:25:09Z

Very Depressed.
I miss talking to Spencer at night.
I have this new outfit he would drool over.
I really want him to see me in it ..
But thats up to him.
If you want to post me a comment hun.

selbstmordpuppe @ 2004-09-15T00:37:00

2004-09-15T04:38:55Z

Spencer if you get this plz! comment!
And IM me or call me eithere or!
I seriously need to talk to you about one thing.
And as you something very important its for something you will love.
And the thing im going to talk to you about is also something you will extremely love!
So plz! get contact with me some how! So we can talk!!!!

selbstmordpuppe @ 2004-09-14T02:31:00

2004-09-14T06:32:15Z

Maybe I just need to go away to asap.
I know I wont be missed.
But for some reason it doesnt phase me quiet yet.
Today I wish someone would have came over and shot me.

selbstmordpuppe @ 2004-09-08T21:51:00

2004-09-09T01:56:38Z

Ok well today went to the bus stop for almost an hour no bus so I went home.
Later on *HE* came over picked me up and took me back to *HIS* house we chilled then yes yes I know PRETTY DAMN GOOD SEX!
its been like what 2 in a half 3 months? I NEEDED IT!
If I see *HIM* tomorrow which im pretty sure I am IM PROB GOING TO JUMP HIS BONES AND ASK TO FUCK ME DOGGY STYLE been a while for that and it mmmmm feels soooooo good!
well IF you see this post and tell me how you thought about it =)

selbstmordpuppe @ 2004-09-08T16:08:00

2004-09-08T20:08:18Z

It was GOOD for me.
Was it GOOD for you?
If so post Anonymous.

I gave in

2004-09-04T14:32:49Z

Tell me five things you like about me. In return, post this in your journal and have everyone tell you five things they like about you.

Im a halfhearted bitch ...

2004-09-03T04:08:15Z

I dont know how to express feelings anymore so heres songs to do it for me.

New blood joins this earth
and quikly he's subdued
through constant pained disgrace
the young boy learns their rules

with time the child draws in
this whipping boy done wrong
deprived of all his thoughts
the young man struggles on and on he's known
a vow unto his own
that never from this day
his will they'll take away

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
never be
never see
won't see what might have been

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
never free
never me
so I dub thee unforgiven

they dedicate their lives
to running all of his
he tries to please them all
this bitter man he is
throughout his life the same
he's battled constantly
this fight he cannot win
a tired man they see no longer cares
the old man then prepares
to die regretfully
that old man here is me

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
never be
never see
won't see what might have been

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
never free
never me
so I dub the unforgiven

you labeled me
I'll label you
so I dub the unforgiven

I am awaiting the sunrise
Gazing modestly through the coldest morning
Once it came you lied
Embracing us over autumn's proud treetops

I stand motionless
In a parade of falling rain
You voice I cannot hear
As I am falling again

Devotion eludes
And in sadness I lumber
In my own ashes I am standing without a soul
She wept and whispered: "I know..."

We walked into the night
Am I to bid you farewell?

Why can't you see that I try
When every tear I shed
Is for you?

As we speak...
-the stable table turns
As we speak...
-I should have known we're burned
And I guess I'll never never learn which of those faces
who makes it all turn
As we speak...
-I'm going deeper down
As we speak...
-With a terrible sound
a feeble holy bastard son
has it only just begun?

[Chorus]

I turn away.....fading out alone
Was a lifetime worth it all?
...fading out...fading out alone
Ass we speak we turn to stone

As we speak...
A young man looses his mind
As we speak...
He kills what's next in line...
A broken down mother ask herself why
-Is this the end of her precious time?
As we speak...
-a conscience leaves without a trace
a silent departure to a silent place
what do we know about the anger that starts to grow

Don't despair, time will heal your torment
Don't you dare, spend your days in hell
So beware, faith will bring you treason
While you stare... Oh!

[1st Lead Frenning, 2nd Lead Wichers]

I turn away....fading out alone
Was a lifetime worth it all?
...fading out...fading out alone
As we speak we turn to stone [Repeat]
As a lifetime turns to stone...

selbstmordpuppe @ 2004-08-13T19:35:00

2004-08-13T23:36:14Z

People keep asking me why I dont post much anymore.
Becuz theres really nothing to say and if there is its alot.
And no point no comments.

There I posted

selbstmordpuppe @ 2004-08-02T22:18:00

2004-08-03T02:21:13Z

Today me and spencer broke up.
We lasted 10 months. all together
first time 6 1/2 months
second time 1 month and 6 days.
broke up for 3 months saw eachother most of it.
I guess it was the best ya know.
Yah I hurt but theres nothing I can do.
Ill miss him I know he will miss me.
I hope everything is ok for him.
And if he does more
I hope he has a wonderful life in N.C.

selbstmordpuppe @ 2004-07-26T01:48:00

2004-07-26T05:48:48Z